The 50 Shades of Spiritual Growth

“The moment we want to believe something, we suddenly see all the arguments for it, and become blind to the arguments against it.”

George Bernard Shaw

What do you think of Trump?

Of Biden?

How about Albanese and Dutton?

Would you always vote Liberal or Labor? Republican or Democrat?

In my experience, there are few swinging voters, just as there are few ‘swinging thinkers’.

Take climate change, for instance. Do you have a fixed view on it?

Do you tend to move in circles where this view is reinforced?

What about morality, sexuality and the like?

Are your views on such matters fluid?

Unless you are an exception to most people (and you may well be!), you’ve probably formed a view on such things and stick to it.

And yet, here is an interesting thing: change typically comes from what in philosophy is termed ‘dialectic’.

Here, you start with a thesis (a position, an idea, etc.).

You then encounter an antithesis (the opposing position, idea, etc.).

The two struggle against each other.

And you end up with a more evolved fusion of the two: the synthesis.

Interestingly, you often see this dialectical struggle play out in books and cinema in the three-act structure:

Act 1 = Everyday World = Thesis

Act 2 = Upside Down World = Antithesis

Act 3 = Merged World = Synthesis

Here, the protagonist evolves thanks to a synthesis of ‘thesis’ and ‘antithesis’. Their original personality from Act 1 is forged by experiences in Act 2 to create a new – hopefully more evolved – version of themselves in Act 3.

In Act 3, they therefore do things they would never have done in Act 1.

The rub, of course, is that to grow, to evolve, they need the antithesis. They need forces to oppose the ‘status quo’ of Act 1.

Harry leaves his aunt and uncle to go to Hogwarts (admittedly, no great hardship!).

Luke leaves Tatooine to learn the ways of the Force with Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Rapunzel (in Dysney’s Tangled) leaves her tower to go adventuring with Flynn.

Anastasia gets sucked into the – ahem! - 'complicated' world of billionaire Christian Grey.

But imagine if Harry never went to Hogwarts, Luke never went off to learn the ways of the Force, Rapunzel never left her tower, or Anastasia never left her editorial office to cavort with Christian?

How different would their lives be?

Where they grew (and these films are not necessarily the greatest examples of character growth!), it was precisely because they stepped outside of their everyday world.

Our Mind Loves Black and White

As much as growth happens when we step outside of our comfort zone, when we open up to new viewpoints and situations, when we are open to more nuanced interpretations of things, we tend to prefer the stability of the known, of fixed ‘black and white’ views on things.

For where things are ‘grey’, we have tension (just ask Anastasia!).

And that tension can feel almost unbearable!

Which is why we like things to be binary.

Yes or no.

Good or bad.

Right or wrong.

We don't like the ‘open loops’ of the grey.

We don’t like things to be unresolved.

This is especially true when we are in a heightened emotional state.

At such times, we tend to want to decide on things one way or the other.

Quit our job.

Dump our partner.

Leave the country.

The cleaner and more final the decision, the better.

For that resolves the tension.

It gets rid of the grey.

But it also gets rid of the possibility of further dialectic, of letting opposing viewpoints battle it out to create a more complete whole.

“The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind at the same time, and still retain the ability to function."

F. Scott Fitzgerald

So maybe what we should do is hold our beliefs more loosely.

Then, like a good scientist, we can be ready to change them the moment new evidence presents itself.

Seek Your Opposite

It’s all very well to expose ourselves to opposing viewpoints and new data, but how do we know if we can trust the accuracy of this data?

And if we can’t trust it, how do we know if we should change our views according to what it tells us?

The answer, of course, is that it is difficult to know what is true and false, even in what should be a scientific context!

Was the coronavirus manmade?

Was it natural?

Depends on which expert you ask!

In general, the best we can do is vet multiple sources of information and read and watch things with opposing viewpoints.

If we’re trying to evolve our philosophy and we’re feminists, we can listen to a bit of Andrew Tate.

And if we’re Andrew Tate (or one of his followers), we can listen to some feminists.

Spiritual ‘Evidence’

Fortunately, when it comes to spiritual things, it’s a lot easier.

Because spirituality - at least in my opinion - should be experientially based.

In other words, beliefs shouldn’t be based on theory, but rather on experience.

We shouldn’t believe something because a guru says it is the case (even if it is a very respectable guru!).

We shouldn’t believe something because it’s written in Wikipedia or because we read it in a book.

No. We believe something because we know it to be true based on our personal experiences.

If we do this, then we never need to fear that we’ll have a ‘crisis of faith’.

For that will only happen when we believe in a spiritual theory without personal evidence to back it up, and if we do that, then, inevitably, one day, we’re going to question this belief.

The Take Away

It’s often tempting to categorize things as black or white.

God or the Devil.

Good or bad.

Heaven or hell.

But growth tends to occur when we learn to mix the two to get grey.

So to evolve, we often need to hang out in the tension of the shades.

Here, we hop from thesis to antithesis to synthesis before starting the entire process again.

It might be uncomfortable to live in uncertainty.

But to get to the synthesis (the growth!) we need to make friends with the dialectical process.

The 50 Shades of Spiritual Growth

Transforming Your Spiritual Journey with Chi Activation

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The 50 Shades of Spiritual Growth

Transforming Your Spiritual Journey with Chi Activation

find out more about Us

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chi activation Master Class

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